you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
