What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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