im gay
i know
yea but for you.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
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