i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
