What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize