good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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