oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
