Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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