yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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