Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
