Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
