I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
