So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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