i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
