I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I love you. Go after that dick
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
