i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
