i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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