Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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