I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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