Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
