I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
