This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
