Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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