You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
