And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
