In the future we'll all be gay
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
