we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
