and she was petting her beer can
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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