You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize