Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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