i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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