I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
