weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
