I'm drive I can fine osifer
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
