fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
