WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I will pee on everything he values.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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