Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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