DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
