So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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