What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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