god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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