Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
When are your genitals available?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
