like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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