does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
