I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
