NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
