Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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