that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
