I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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