She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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