I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
