wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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