Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Randomize
